mawwaige…is what bwings us…..togewaaaaa…..today. (sunday)
WOOO WOOOOOOOOOOO going to see two of my favorite people get married with a whole bunch of my OTHER favorite people around to celebrate!!!!!!
so……today i watered a fake plant at work. watered the crap out of it.
……….what can you do.
i took the fire escape and made it out alive.
yeah i still burn from time to time but i’ve a healing hand against my side.
dear 18 year old who tried to hit on me today:
“i really like your nail polish” is probably not the best approach. also, when i ask you the question “do you know so and so”, it’s best not to let on that you’re not listening to a word coming out of my mouth by responding with a dazed head nod and a “that’s cool…”
AND! do not assume that because i have tattoos i am interested in seeing your unicorn and narwhal tattoo on your peck. DO NOT OFFER TO FLASH ME. and get better tattoos from here on out.
for schmanth: the only other person i met at penn state who knew and loved teaberry ice cream.
also. while i was driving today someone pulled into a spot that i was eyeing and i yelled in my car “OH YOU CRAPHEAD!”
it’s things like these that make me think adulthood is just one, big, elaborate hoax.
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random child at baby gym: did you go to the doctor and get stamps?
me:…..um. no. i don’t have stamps
random child: *looks at forearm tattoos*
me: OH! uh. no. those aren’t stamps. those are like….GROWN UP stamps.
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]obsessed. needtobreathe. i mean..just…it’s unreal.
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i read your dry novel for 500 pages, and that’s the ‘ending’ you give me for the grapes of wrath, john steinbeck???
we are not friends.
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